i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
