Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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