You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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