there was a trapeze. enough said
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
