you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
