Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
