...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
