You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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