please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
