he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
