I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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