I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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