2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
