Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
