how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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