Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
