I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
