I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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