WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
