is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
