When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
