You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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