she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
