I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
