You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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