Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
