he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
