Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
