oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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