I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
