no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
