you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
