i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
