we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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