His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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