i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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