Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
