I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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