WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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