I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
