have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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