Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
