I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
