My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
