Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
