another moral hangover. fuck.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
