so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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