Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
