Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
