I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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