Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
