I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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