K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
