marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
love makes seman taste better
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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