Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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