Pappa wants mamma naked
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
