don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
