WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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