do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
