he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize