You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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