you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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