Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
