Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
