is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
