the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
