that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Two words: nipple clamps
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
